Post Pregnancy Pants

I don’t exactly fit my pre-pregnancy pants…and the ones that I do fit-they aren’t without that cute little muffin top-which means my tops are limited b/c that’s just not something that I want to accentuate.  Honestly, getting ready for church is one of the most frustrating times with that muffin top…it’s so hot in our house at that time of the day and most of the time I started getting ready too late. So it’s typical for me to feel hot, rushed and of course LARGE!

I have to say it’s been a grace of God that I have a friend who gave birth 6 weeks after me-so we feel gross together and I think it gives us a sense of normalcy-but what is it about not fitting into your pants that just really makes something go off inside of you?! It’s H-A-R-D! Post pregnancy body is not fun.

As I’ve talked with her it’s been so revealing. And I can see through my tears and frustration before church that I value so much of the way I look above more things than I’d like to admit. And as my friend asked…Is this something new? Or has it always been there? This vanity of mine- I can’t get away from it. Lord, help me! I think it’s always been there, but it’s post-pregnancy times like this that show me how deep it goes. And it goes deep my friend. Very deep.

So as I was reading from 1 Peter 1: 24, 25 last week I found myself relating to a verse that I thought I’d cling to more when I was maybe 60 years-old or so. Here is the verse:

All flesh is like grass, all it’s glory like the flower of grass.

The grass withers, and the flower falls,

But the word of the Lord remains forever.

And the word is the good news that was preached to you.

(60 years is not when your body really starts to wither…Haha apparently it’s 25.)

 So, Peter, what you are telling me is that my flesh is withering? Okay. For real I get it because when I grasp at it, it slips through my fingers. Note to self: Heather, it’s only down hill from here. Don’t grasp at it like it will last forever and bring you all your happiness, there’s only One that will do that.

Only the Word of the Lord remains forever. And what is the Word? The Good News that was preached to you! Oh man, Lord, help me to remember it and love it! 

Guest Post: Is motherhood all it's cracked up to be?

Doesn't it seem like there are a lot of new babies when you look at your FB friends? Well, I thought I'd ask one or two momma's I know to share their experience as a new mom and how it has pointed them back to Jesus. This is Ysabel. Besides being a good friend, she's also a stay at home mom, and wife to seminary student :) Their son, Adiah, was given to them December 28th 2011 looking just like his daddy. May you be encouraged by her post...

Ysabel & Adiah

Motherhood. It’s what I’ve always dreamed about. Well, to be a wife AND a mother is what I’ve always dreamed about. Now I’m just that, a wife to the most amazing man and a mother to a beautiful baby boy. 

Is it all it’s cracked up to be? Yes and no. 

I love being a wife! I’m married to a man who loves me endlessly, who reminds me that my righteousness is not in my ability to keep a clean house but in Jesus. Who encourages me to have dreams and to pursue them. Who is such an example to me by how he loves our Savior! So yes, marriage was exactly what I thought: pure bliss!! So why wouldn’t being a mother be the same?? That’s where I was dead wrong! From the time he implanted in my uterus, it has been the start of a VERY sanctifying journey.  

Being a mom is very hard work. It’s a round the clock kind of work. There are moments when I think, “I really wanted this??” or “if he cries another minute, I’m gonna cry,” “sleep. That’s all I want, sleep.” Then there are moments where I look at him and my heart feels like it will burst because I just love him so much that I can barley handle it. Or when he’s snuggled on me and sleeping so sweetly I think “Please, please don’t ever grow up.” I’m such a bag of mixed emotions these days.

But one thing is for certain, idols are being exposed! Like One. Right.  After.  Another. One of the many is my need for comfort. Pregnancy was the most uncomfortable 39 weeks. Recovery after having him wasn’t fun either and being sleep deprived hasn’t been a walk through the park. But what I’m learning and having to be reminded of is that I’m not promised a comfortable life nor am I entitled to one. There is one thing in this life that I am entitled to and that is hell (Rom. 3:23). When I think of that I’m reminded of my NEED-my need for someone bigger than myself and my lack of sleep. I’m reminded that I need something that has more strength to get me through the day than my tall iced coffee. One who will make my idols “fall to the ground on their faces” (1 Sam. 5:3-5).That One is Jesus. His life didn’t revolve around what made him most comfortable and if anyone was entitled to a comfortable life it would have been Him. He suffered a horrific death on the cross so that a selfish sinful girl (me) could be forgiven (1Cor. 15:3-5).  So motherhood may not be all that I dreamed it would be, no, but it is refining me and making me cling to the Gospel more than I ever have before, so I’ll take it! :)

Postpartum Sin

Have you ever seen those cutsie moms with their cutsie newborns in the hip slings with their very trendy outfits on? Well, I don’t know about you, but when I was pregnant with Rosie I always noticed them! I knew having a newborn is hard work but how did they look so “put together”? I looked at them, and took a mental picture of how I wanted to be…as would soon be revealed…at the cost of idolatry.

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When you have an amazing church family and a newborn, you get lots of meals and visitors. And that’s what I have. When visitors would come over, I always wanted the house to be tidy and even if I was still wearing my maternity clothes, I wanted to look nice. You know, like having a newborn “ain’t no thang.” Even though I was in pain and could hardly sit in any normal position, I didn’t want it to show.  Vanity, my precious idol, was starting to surface.

How did I know that wanting the house to look nice and me wanting to look nice were idolatry? Well, I’d get super stressed out if I knew people were coming over and the living room was messy. I’d get mad at James if he didn’t help me clean up right away. A clean house came before wanting to spend time with God. And when it came to my appearance, I LOVED hearing “you don’t even look like you had a baby” comments-more than I LOVED hearing what God has to say in HIS word.

I really noticed my vanity when one day I started thinking about what I would wear to church my first night back. At first it seems harmless. I mean, seriously, it would be one of my first nights out of the house in a few weeks! But when you weigh what church is really about and what I was excited about, one side was heavier than the other. I wasn’t as excited to hear about Jesus and praise God with His people as I was about what I’d wear. Pretty sad.

I think I still struggle with this. I have to fight my vanity with the truth that I have nothing to boast in, unless it’s in the cross. Because someone far more beautiful and lovely than me looked his worst FOR me. On the cross he was beaten and killed to take away my sins and make a way for me to be near God.

Moms with newborns, take the time to look nice and clean your house (and praise God if you have the time to do those things), but not at the cost of finding more joy in it, than your Savior.

I suppose I will get some comment saying that wanting the house clean and wanting to look nice are not bad things. To that I would agree. But my heart was looking for joy and satisfaction in those things instead of Jesus-and that’s NOT right. Anything good can be replaced with Jesus. It’s not the good things that are bad…its our wicked hearts.