Kids say the darndest things

Don’t you just love the things kids say? I always tell my husband how I wish they’d bring that show “Kids say the darndest things” back. It’d be great! Working with preschoolers I get to hear some of the funniest things. During prayer once, a preschooler asked for a “real zebra”, others politely ask their friends to “Please stop chuckling.” They refer to the American flag as the “Grand ol’ flag” or just happen to mention that daddy is 10 years older than mommy.  These little recording machines say the funniest things. As I was looking for other funny things that kids say I came across a website by Denise Dew. A part of her website is dedicated to the things kids say. Here are some that stood out to me:

Do Unto Others

My children, Blake and Cindi, in grade school, were running 'round and 'round the house. Blake's long legs taking him on a gallop of about 4 feet per stride, with Cindi chasing him, half a dozen strides to each one of his, scowling and screeching at him. I called them in, sat them down on the couch and proceeded to lecture them. The lecture started out with the standard Love-Thy-Sibling chapter and was ending with the Do-Unto-Others- As-You-Would- Have-Them-Do- Unto-You summation, when Cindi exclaimed: "But Mother! He already did-it-unto me!"

A Terrible Place

When Sara was 2 years old, I read her the first 100 lines of Milton's "Paradise Lost," just to see what response, if any, she would have. She quickly picked up on the phrase, "fiery gulf," Milton's poetic figure for Hell, and asked me what it meant. I said, "Well, the fiery gulf is a terrible place. It's where the devil lives, and we don't ever want to go there." Several weeks later, at the dinner table, Sara's mother mentioned to me that our pastor had played 18 holes of golf that day. Sara's eyes grew wide and said, "Daddy! Golf is a terrible place!"

The Foot Dad

When my daughter remarried she explained to her son Cody that her new husband was not his real dad, but his step dad. Cody's friend Kyle came over to play and Cody said, "Kyle, I have something very important to tell you. Dennis is not my real dad. Instead he's my "foot dad."

Hope you enjoy the Monday Post and that you got a chuckle or two. I'd love to hear some of your stories too!