Adopting a child of a different ethnicity than your own

My husband and I are interested in adoption. We don’t know when it will be or how but we do know that we see the gospel beautifully represented in adoption, and since we have been adopted into the family of God, we’d like to give that picture to our future family. We want to give that picture more specifically through transracial adoption. 

You may start to feel worried for either the child or for us. “Oh the complications!” you may think. Identity issues! Children teasing! etc., etc. We have our reasons for wanting to transracially adopt but are your reasons for NOT transracially adopting biblical? Below is a quote from Russell Moore’s book Adopted for Life. May his words stop our worldly hesitations about transracial adoption:

“…If you’re not sure you can love a child with a different skin color than yours, the first step for you has nothing to do with the adoption process. Repent, and open your heart to love.”

For most Christians, though, the issue of racial identity isn’t an obstacle. For many of you, instead, the concern is about family members and how they’ll react to a child of a different race. I’ve seen couples convulsing in tears on the couch in my office, asking how they can love their new child and honor their father and mother at the same time. I’ve seen family members of every race and every region of the country turn up their noses at the idea of a niece, nephew, or grandchild of another ethnicity, usually with some highly spiritual rhetoric about honoring father and mother or about ‘the best interest of the child’ or a thousand other reasons.

What I’m surprised by is how many of these extended family members are deacons or women’s ministry directors or ushers or Sunday school teachers in their churches. They’re blissfully unaware, it seems, that what’s resting on them is the spirit of the antichrist. They seem not to comprehend that their own devotion to their flesh would disqualify non-Semitic folks like them from the promises of God. If Jesus agreed with them on adoption and race, they’d be in hell.”

Don’t get me wrong. There are real fears and hesitiations about adopting a child from a different ethnicity. All I am saying is we must use the gospel with our own adoption into the family of God to see if those fears are real barriers.

In November, there was a link posted of Q & A’s with Thibiti Anyabwile. He uses the gospel to talk about those fears and hesitations people may have about transracial adoption. If you’d like to check it out go here or here. 

Also another good article on Transracial adoption can be found here at www.toomanyaborted.com

The Big Red Tractor and the Little Village

Last week I featured a book called Halfway Herbert by Francis Chan. Yup he doesn’t have just one children’s book out but TWO (and another on the way)! Yay for us! Before it was a book, it came out on youtube. So I’ll let you see the story for yourself!

You can purchase the book here.

A Christmas Message from my husband

My husband, James, recently had the opportunity to give a message at his sister’s bible study. Someone was kind enough to record it, so I thought I’d post the Christmas message here. James talks about us being enemies of God and goes on to talk about how God did something we could never do on our own: he sent salvation to sinners through his son Jesus Christ. There are a few minutes missing from the beginning, but it will still make sense. Feel free to leave feedback and I will pass it along to James.

"It blowed up princess Laya's planet"

Happy Monday! This is star wars according to a 3-year-old! Even if you are not a fan, I’m sure you can appreciate her cute details! And remember "Don't talk back to Darth Vader-he'll getcha."

Jesus Storybook Bible

Sorry guys! This post was scheduled for wednesday (my book-featuring-day) but I must have done something wrong b/c it didn't work out. So here is the post that was supposed to be up on weds.  Watch the video with a child in your life! Buy the  the bible too! It's worth it! 

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The Jesus Storybook Bible is rich. It's written by Sally Lloyd-Jones (sorry, no relation to Martyn Lloyd-Jones) and the art is by Jago.We have it at our church and sometimes while we wait for the parent’s to pick-up I love to read the story that relates to our lesson. The pictures are full of color but more importantly, there’s no fluff in this bible. The tag-line is “Every story whispers his name.” So often children’s bible’s are filled with “me, me, me” “Jesus loves me.” “God made me special” Jesus is my friend.” “I am special.” (while those things may be true, we are not the focus God is) So when you come across a children’s bible that with a tag-line like that (God-centered), you gotta appreciate it! 

Here is a timely video about the birth of Jesus. It’s a double-blessing because you check out the words and pictures before buying it AND you can watch it with kids in your life this Christmas season!

 

You can purchase the book here.

Hymns-Page CXVI style

If you liked the hymns I features on Tuesday you will enjoy these too. They also have a 3rd album out, that is available for purchase. Go here if you are interested. Enjoy the hymns my friends.

Hymns & Holy Hip Hop

Lately I've been listening to two types of music that I never really liked. Numero uno is Hip Hop- Holy Hip Hop that is. Times listening to guys like Lecrae, Shai Linne and Timothy Brindle have been so edifying and encouraging. My first time listening to them, I was surprised to find that there is more scripture in this music than most music on the average Christian radio station. But I'll stop there about that because this post is to introduce you to hymns-or should I say re-introduce you? Like Holy Hip Hop, many hymns are filled with rich truth. Many focus on Jesus and his grace for sinners-and oh how often we need to be reminded of that! They are beautiful. So let me re-introduce you: Friend, these are hymns. Hymns, these are my friends. (Jennie, you inspired me to put them back up-I'll put the other album up soon)




Interested in purchasing it? Go here.

Ukulele Boy sings "I'm Yours"

If you watched the video in my post last monday, you saw a little boy that was doing his own pre-k (just an assumption) version of “I’m yours” by Jason Mraz. I had to find him and let you guys watch the whole thing. His facial expressions are priceless. Happy Monday!

A father's role in his children going to church when they are grown

Whether  the world likes it or not. God made mothers and fathers to have certain roles.  Obeying or disobeying those God-given roles have certain outcomes.  A study done in Switzerland “reveals the connection between church-going habits of mothers and fathers and the effect on their children when they are grown.” Here is an excerpt:

“…if a father does not go to church, no matter how faithful his wife’s devotions, only one child in 50 will become a regular worshipper. If a father does go regularly, regardless of the practice of the mother, between two-thirds and three-quarters of their children will become churchgoers (regular and irregular). If a father goes but irregularly to church, regardless of his wife’s devotion, between a half and two-thirds of their offspring will find themselves coming to church regularly or occasionally.” (Found originally on Justin Taylor's blog) 

Read the rest here. 

Not only does the study reveal the importance of obeying the roles God gives us, but it also highlights the importance of Christians marrying Jesus-loving people that love the church (Christians). Marrying someone that does not love Jesus and His church is very detrimental to the spirituality of future children (as revealed in the study).

Telling the truth about Santa

Picture from the Resurgence Blog

If you’ve ever struggled with what to tell children about Santa, then this article in the Washington Post should be helpful to you. It is written by Mark Driscoll. 

Halfway Herbert learns about the Holy Spirit

Recently one of the children in my class gave me a gift card to Barnes & Noble. As I use my journal weekly, the pages are once again getting low. So I thought I’d save the card for a new journal. But who am I kidding? After I found a cute journal, I headed straight for the children’s section. I figured there wouldn’t be a huge selection of “religious” books, so I browsed some of my faves like “Goodnight Moon”, “If you give a mouse a cookie” or “Brown Bear, Brown Bear.”

Out of curiosity I also looked at the “religious” children’s books. Sadly, there were not very many quality books (then again I wasn't there for hours or anything). They had a slew of different bibles and things like that so when I saw a book by Francis Chan I was so surprised! I’d known about this book since it’s release in October, but I’d never seen a copy of it before! 

Notice the half done hair & teeth! Love it!

The book is about little Herbert that did only half of everything he was supposed to do. He only tied one shoe, brushed only half his teeth, and eventually only told half the truth. Telling only a half-truth eventually got him into trouble. His dad explained that half a truth is a whole lie. He explains to Halfway-Herbert that Jesus wants his people to love him WHOLE-hearted and live WHOLE lives out for God. Herbert’s dad tells him “When we decide to follow Jesus all the way, God’s spirit fills up our hearts and helps us obey God.” Herbert understands that it is hard to do things all the way but with the Holy Spirit we can be helped to obey God. Herbert prays a prayer of repentance for not obeying God and asks for the Holy Spirit so he can know how to follow Jesus. Now Herbert tries to finish things. Chan writes, “He isn’t perfect, but God’s spirit helps him.”

After reading the story of Half-way Herbert, I figured my journal could wait. So I bought the book and I can’t wait to read it to the kiddos!

*If you are interested in quality children's books, stop by each week. Every Wednesday I will be featuring a children's/teen book that I believe is quality material. *

American Idol: Kids Edition

Since Adoption Awareness Month I haven’t quite got back into the Monday humor posts again. Sorry if you missed them but they are back! This one is funny. If you love Jason Mraz like I do (Capa & Serena) then you will love the little boy at 2:42! 

To watch the full video of the kids version of "I'm yours" Go here.

Filtering the children's books we purchase

Is it weird that when I go to a christian book store I immediately head to the children's section? Well, ever since I've listened to a message by Jill Nelson from www.childrendesiringgod.org on "Choosing God centered Resources" I've had more of desire to find good, sound (theologically correct), God-centered children's books.

So often children's books that have to do with bible themes are fluffy, moralistic, irreverent books. For example, stories about animals being able to see Jesus or give Jesus transportation (instead of the focus of Jesus himself), stories about morality (instead of being like Jesus), stories of bible characters dressed up as animals (young children are very literal and concrete-how confusing would that be!) these are some common themes-just to name a few. 

Like parents will often filter what their children can or cannot eat, choosing God-centered resources should be the same. Just because they sell a book in the local Family Christian Bookstore doesn't mean that book is a theologically correct book, centered on God (just sayin'). Having said that when I find a good quality book I get so excited! I imagine the kids I know it would be perfect for, I think about taking it to future babysitting jobs (yes I'm 24 and I still babysit), or giving it away to a child at a birthday party, and maybe even the book being a childhood memory for my own future children. Yes, children's books excite me!

Today I'd like to feature a book or graphic novel written by John Piper (or as my best friend Christy likes to call him "J. Pipe"). This book immediately attracted me because of a particular teenager in my life. Each week she comes to church by herself. She sits with my husband and I with her head in a book the entire time. Not just any book, a comic book-well a graphic novel to be precise. Junjo Romantico-to be even more precise. James and I recently ordered some book sets from the Desiring God Christmas sale-and to my delight this book was included in one of the sets!  I'm very excited to receive the book in the mail! Hope you get a chance to check out the book sometime!

The Gadarene - Graphic Novel (Trailer) from Edd Blott on Vimeo.

I would encourage you to listen to the msg by Jill Nelson on "Choosing God-centered Resources" here just scroll about half way down and download it for free to your itunes.

Desert and a lie

In our class we have a rule at lunch-time: eat your healthy food first. But sometimes that sugar is just so much more appetizing than the PB & J. Today, like everyday, one of the preschoolers asked me if they could have their desert before the sandwich.  And like always I said, “After you eat your sandwich, you may have your desert.” Not but two minutes later she came up to me and said, “Now can I have my desert? I finished my sandwich.” It was all a little too quick for me so I asked, “Did you really eat ALL of your sandwich?” She nodded. “So if I look in the trash cans, they won’t be there?” Normally, I never have to get to the trash can before they confess, but she didn’t confess. However, her body was telling me that she wasn’t telling truth so I followed through with checking the trashcans. She wasn’t lying about her food being in the trashcan nor was it crumpled up in her lunchbox. But still something wasn’t right. So I got down on my knees and I told her:

“Are you sure you are telling me truth? Even if you are not, I will still love you. It’s important that you tell me truth. I can handle it. Where is the sandwich, sweetie?”

That’s when she finally shrugged her shoulders.

Then she confessed, “Nikki ate it for me.”

I proceeded to say, “You told me you ate it, but you didn’t. What is that called?”

“Lying” she said.

“Is it okay to lie?”

 “No.”

“What does God call that?”

“Sin”

“That’s right and sinners sin. We are ALL sinners. You lied to me and that’s a sin. I lie too sometimes. And I am a sinner. You know what, sinners can’t go to heaven and be with God. Isn’t that sad? How can we get to heaven if we sin so much? .... Well, when we confess our sins, Jesus forgives us our sins. Loving Jesus and asking for his help is the only way to Heaven. When we love Jesus and trust him to forgive us our sins, God sees Jesus’ clean pure heart instead of our dark sinful hearts. Would you like to ask Jesus for forgiveness?

She wanted to so she prayed. “Dear God, Sorry I did that. Amen.”

What a sweet moment God gave me to talk about sin! I don’t think her prayer was a prayer of salvation, but I do think that she saw very intimately that we are sinners. It’s such a key thing in understanding the gospel!

Like always, whenever I have a conversation like that I tend to go over it in my head and think of how I would have done it differently.

I think I would have made an overarching statement about sin: Sin is loving anything else more than God. (You shall have no other gods BEFORE me. Ex. 20:3) Putting it this way, they will be able to see that they are sinners from sharing to eating their healthy food first. For example, if they are fighting over a toy (instead of addressing who had it first) we could talk about how neither of them were loving God the most as they fought for the toy. Both of them were thinking about themselves. When it comes to lying in order to eat that yummy desert, I could have talked about how she was loving food more than God. She loved that food more than God so much that she was willing to lie and trick in order to get it. That is not loving God the most- that is sinning.

Isn’t lying such a good indicator of what we are loving more than God? When I am tempted to lie about buying clothes, things are more important than God. When I am tempted to make a story better than it really was, people’s opinions are more important than God. When I see the kids lying about their healthy food, I see myself too.

When love takes you in...

In September, when I learned that this month was Adoption Awarness Month, I was so excited to learn about it-so I decided to make it a blogging project. I don’t know about you, but doing all this research has really gave me a lot to consider.

I think I can say that I do understand God’s adoption of us better. I think I can say along with C.J. Mahaney “I was adopted when I was 12.” There is such a beautiful picture of the gospel in that. Taking someone that is not our flesh, that may not even look like us, and taking them in, giving them a home and love and giving them the family name. Loving them as your own, because God loved us as his own.

I’ll leave this final post with a video by Steven Curtis Chapman. The official music video is really awesome too. Hope you’ve enjoyed the posts.

Sermons on Adoption

As the month comes to an end, I’d like to leave this post as one reference point for you. As you grow more in your understanding and maybe as God grows your heart for adoption here are some great sermons on the topic of Adoption.

John Piper:

                  Adoption: The heart of the Gospel

                  Predestined for Adoption for the Praise of His Glory

Charles Spurgeon

                  Adoption: The spirit and the cry

Joel Beeke 

                 Spiritual Adoption

         

Wayne Grudem

                  Doctrine of Adoption

C.J. Mahaney

                 God as Father: Understanding the doctrine of Adoption (It's under the 2008 tab)

These are all really great sermons! I have yet to listen to a couple of them, but I am looking forward to it! Enjoy friends!

Embryo Adoption

Embryo Adoption. I never knew you could adopt embryos, have them implanted in you, and then give birth to an adopted child. It’s all so interesting. Where do the embryos come from? Well they from in vitrofertilization (IVF)-which is used for couples whom have fertility issues. Basically “there are more embryos created during an IVF treatment than are actually used, thus embryos remain.” There are around 500,000 embryos with no tummy to go into right now! 500,000 babies! (www.embryoadoption.org) They do not yet have voices, they are not yet growing, but if us Christians believe that a baby is a baby at conception and at conception we have embryos, then are we not to consider these embryos God’s creation as well? Are we not to see them as the fatherless as well? Let’s consider what Russell Moore has to say:

“These so-called “snowflakes” are brothers and sisters of the Lord Jesus are stored in cryogenic containers in fertility clinics as the “extras” of IVF projects. They already exist, and they already exist as persons created in the image of God. And there are Christians called to adopt them, to bring them to birth through pregnancy, and to raise them in love…”

May we not completely mark this off the list without prayerful consideration.

To read all of Russell Moore's thoughts on Embryo Adoption go here.

Video: Russell Moore on Adoption

I keep finding myself looking at Russell Moore’s posts on Adoption!  I like him because everything he has to say is gospel centered. I know adoption for him (in how talks about it) isn’t a sweet thing to simply save the life of a child. It’s deeper than that, it’s about the gospel. So don’t be surprised if this ISN’T the last adoption resource I show you (of his) in the next couple of weeks. In the video below Russell Moore answers a few questions:

Who is his book “Adopted for Life” written for?

How do you counsel people who don’t feel called to adopt, but feel really guilty about it in light of the huge need? (@ 2: 14)

Some would say that individuals care for orphans, but an official ministry of orphan care should not be something that the church formally involves itself with. How would you respond to this? (@ 3:30) 

His original post can be found here.

Interview: Thabiti on Transracial Adoption and the Gospel

Thabiti Anyabwile was interviewed on the topic of Transracial Adoption and how it relates to the gospel. The interview covers alot of questions. From couples wanting to adopt a child from another ethnicity to kids possibly struggling with a sense of identity, Anyabwile addresses these issues with the gospel. 

Is the Orphan my neighbor?

Russell Moore recently wrote for qideas.org on adoption. Here is an excerpt:

Orphans are unpredictable. Often we don’t know where they’ve come from, what kind of genetic maladies and urges lie dormant somewhere in those genes. For these reasons, fear has become an obstacle to addressing orphans. A leading theologian and adoption advocate says we must fill in the gap left by a contemporary Western consumer culture that extends even to the fatherless…

Read the rest here

What Piper says about Singles Adopting

What do you think about single people adopting?

If a single man or woman stumbles across a little kid in a third world country who has been thrown away, or whose mom and dad have been slaughtered, then, Yes! Take him, and care for him, and, if necessary, grow him up and be his dad or mom.

Yes, it's better to have one parent than no parents.

But, I've got to add this: I don't think that's the same as a single woman or a single dad in America having their career, reaching 35, discovering they're not going to get married, having a parental instinct, and just wanting to have more self-fulfillment.

Read all of Piper's comments here.

Book on Adoption: Heirs with Christ by Joel Beeke

I haven’t bought this book but it does have a good review by Justin Taylor.

Description according to monergism.com:

The Puritans have gotten bad press for their supposed lack of teaching on the doctrine of spiritual adoption. In Heirs with Christ, Joel R. Beeke dispels this caricature and shows that the Puritan era did more to advance the idea that every true Christian is God’s adopted child than any other age of church history. This little book lets the Puritans speak for themselves, showing how they recognized adoption’s far-reaching, transforming power and comfort for the children of God.

Here’s a trailer for the book:

 

Watch an interview with author here.

Adoption and Abortion are connected

Does it bother you that 90% of pregnant women diagnosed with Down Syndrome decide to have an abortion? (Read article)

Does it bother you that in 2007 Planned Parenthood a pro-choice organization gave out only 4, 912 adoption referrals and aborted 305,310 babies? (That’s a 1: 62 ratio) (Read article)

Do the procedures of abortion bother you?

It bothers us because that is destroying God’s creation-his very image. It bothers us because we are supposed to care for the fatherless. It bothers us because we are not okay with murder. When God gave us the breathe of life and deposited in us the Holy Spirit-it started to bother us because we are not as comfortable with sin as we once were.

Just like abortion is serious matter for the church to care about. So is adoption. Both have to do with caring for the fatherless.

If you are pro-life, I would challenge you this month-whether teenager, single, married or elderly-to not only care about being pro-life but care about adoption. In the foreword to Adopted for Life by Russell Moore, C.J. Mahaney (not legally adopted) starts out by saying “I was adopted when I was 18.” He goes on to say how his friend told him about Jesus and God saved him.

If we were adopted by God through the payment of Jesus Christ’s blood-I pray that we would be able to see the beauty of adoption and thus ask God what our role is in it. After all if it weren’t for adoption, we’d be in pretty bad condition.

In the video below Russell Moore explains the how adoption and abortion are connected:

An Adoption Culture

There is so much I want to share with you guys about Russell Moore’s “Adopted for life.” However, since I haven’t the time right now I will leave with you an excerpt from the book that will hopefully leave you thinking about how adoption doesn’t just advance the cause of life in the adoptee-but beyond.

“An adoption culture in our churches advances the cause of life, even beyond the individual lives of the children adopted. Imagine if Christian churches were known as the places where unwanted babies become beloved children. If this were the case across the board around the world, sure, there would still be abortions, there would still be abusive homes. But wouldn’t we see more women willing to give their children life if they’d seen with their own eyes what an adoption culture looks like? And wouldn’t these mothers and fathers, who may themselves feel unwanted, be a bit more ready to hear our talk about a kingdom come where all are welcomed?”

Wow. An adoption culture-where it’s not just sweet that some couples adopt children and others just comment about how great it is-without their own consideration of it. An adoption culture-where every believer sees that God has adopted us with the payment of his son Jesus. After all, the first cannot without the latter. What a beautiful light that would shine in an Adoption Culture.

Post a comment & give 2 bucks!

Adoption Blog: Kisses from Katie just recently caught my attention on FB because of the word “adoption”.  As I clicked the link and read the actual post I learned more about a woman named Katie. She is single and has 13 children. She lives in Uganda and has adopted all 13 of her girls. Sixsseeds.org put a post of hers up. Because it is National Adoption Month they are giving $2.00 to Katie’s family for each comment that is posted.

I looked into it and it totally seems legit. Sixseeds promotes adoptions and Katie has a unique story. It makes sense that they would support her in the month of November. If you would like to know more about Katie go here. Katie talks about how believers have been adopted and how the Lord has seen fit to bless her with 13 girls. She talks about how adoption is beautiful and wonderful but how it is also hard and painful she says….

“..It stinks to not know when your daughter took her first steps or what her first word was or what she looked like in Kindergarten. It stinks not to know where she slept and whose shoulder she cried on and what the scar on her eyebrow is from. It stinks to know that for ten years of her precious life you were NOT the shoulder she cried on or the Mommy she hugged.”

But she also goes on to say…

“And every single day, it is worth it. Because ADOPTION IS GOD’S HEART. He sets the lonely in families. Adoption is the reason that I can come before God’s throne and beg Him for mercy, because He predestined me to be adopted as His child through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves.”

To read the rest of this post go here.

To contribute $2.00 to Katie & her 13 girls go here and leave a comment.

The role race plays in adoption

“Until recently in Georgia (and still in many other states), one of the five factors listed as 'Special Needs' adoptions was: being black3. Black children remain in foster care at higher rates than other races and are disproportionately represented (27% of those entering foster care are black even though black children comprise only 15% of the U.S. child population).4There are a number of factors that influence this, but the main factor is race….”

This article from www.toomanyaborted.com is a very informative article concerning, politics of adoption, cost of adoption, and inter racial adoptions.

Before I read this article, I always assumed that if we wanted to adopt we’d have to be really rich because it is so expensive. This article gave me hope.

This article also made me mad. Can you believe there are still organizations out there that would rather a black child STAY IN FOSTER CARE than be adopted by a white family? That breaks my heart. Lets learn more about adoption. This article is a great place to kill some misconceptions about adoption’s cost and raise awareness about race and adoption.

Read all of the article here.

Book on Adoption: Adopted for Life by Russell Moore

Just recently I bought Adopted for Life by Russell Moore  I'm excited to dive into it. As I very much admire the things that Rusell Moore has to say I'm sure you will be hearing a quote or two during this month "National Adoption Awareness Month" (and until I finish it J )

Description according to monergism.com:

A stirring call to Christian families and churches to be a people who care for orphans, not just in word, but in deed.

The gospel of Jesus Christ—the good news that through Jesus we have been adopted as sons and daughters into God’s family—means that Christians ought to be at the forefront of the adoption of orphans in North America and around the world.

Russell D. Moore does not shy away from this call in Adopted for Life, a popular-level, practical manifesto for Christians to adopt children and to help equip other Christian families to do the same. He shows that adoption is not just about couples who want children—or who want more children. It is about an entire culture within evangelicalism, a culture that sees adoption as part of the Great Commission mandate and as a sign of the gospel itself.

Moore, who adopted two boys from Russia and has spoken widely on the subject, writes for couples considering adoption, families who have adopted children, and pastors who wish to encourage adoption.

Read the foreword & Chapter 1 here. 

National Adoption Month

This month is National Adoption Awareness Month. So in honor of that, this month I will be posting as much quality information about adoption as I can. There will be articles on God’s adoption of us, videos, and information you may have never heard before. (This is also a project for myself-Lord willing, this will be in our future) If you have any websites that you recommend along the way-please leave a comment for the benefit of all who pass by.

Today I’ll start my raising awareness by sharing a precious video from the founder of www.theradiancefoundation.org. Ryan Scott’s birth mother was raped. She made a self-less choice to give him life and give him up for adoption. The song in the video is a song written to his birth mother. May a small portion of the beauty of adoption be impressed upon your heart as you watch…